"You Cannot Teach Sales" and Other Lies Men in Business Tell
A nerdy takedown of fragile-ego sales myths
Hi, Hello, Friends! đ€
âYou cannot teach sales.â
That is a line I have heard repeated by males in the workplace since I stepped into the Insurance Industry 7 years ago. I donât usually bother in a dialogue sharing examples and data that would show how wrong that truly is, because those men are also the ones without the capacity to dialogue.
Inside, I just giggle and have the conversation in my brain.
Because hereâs what I have obeserved: the men that tell you âsales cannot be taughtâ usually fall into one of three categories
they donât know how they became good at sales.
they arenât truly good teachers or workplace mentors.
they donât actually want or care to bring anyone (or YOU) on the road to success. They want to gatekeep.
Usually, it is likely a combination of all three.
The trap of Laziness and Entitlement
I have observed more often that men in the workplace that like to cloak laziness and entitlement in myths.
âNatural born salespersonâ.
Translation: I became good through trial and error, but I am going to pretend it was innate so I donât have to show anyone else.
âYou either have it or you donât.â
Translation: I donât want to slow down enough to show you how to do this.
âThose good at sales donât have time to teach and trainâ.
Translation: I could make the time, but I donât want to. Teaching means sharing credit, slowing down, making sacrifices, being messy, being vulnerable, and being accountable.
âReal closers donât need trainingâ.
Translation: Iâm insecure about how much I actually know.
âSales is just a numbers gameâ.
Translation: Keep dialing until you are dead inside. Ignores actual strategies that work, listening and actual relationship-building.
âSales is not teachableâ.
Translation: I donât know how to explain what I do, and I would rather protect my ego rather than admit it can be broken down into teachable skills.
âThose that cannot sell, teach. Those who cannot teach, sell.â.
Translation: I am insecure about my own abilities, so I dismiss teachers as failures instead of admitting I have nothing to teach myself.
These are not actual full truths, they are weapons for the individual. They all tie into the same thread: bad leaders hoard, dismiss, or mythologize their knowledge instead of teaching, learning, listening, adapting, and sharing.
Sales is not a superpower.
Sales is not a superpower that is only given to an elite few. It is not a secret handshake. It is not charisma sprinkled like fairy dust. What is needed is not gifts. It is skills. And like any skill, they can be taught, practiced, and improved.
Sales is teachable:
Listening â actually hearing what people are saying and what theyâre not saying.
Problem-solving â connecting the dots between pain points and solutions.
Storytelling â framing information so it sticks.
Persistence â following up, even when itâs uncomfortable.
Empathy â understanding what it feels like to be on the other side of the table.
None of these are mystical. All of it can be taught.
Ego & Fear are powerful:
When someone refuses to teach what they know, it is rarely because it cannot be taught. I have found it is more likely rooted in:
Protecting their own ego (âIf Iâm the only one who can sell, Iâll always be valuableâ). If they are the only ânaturalâ, they get to feel special.
Fear of being exposed (âWhat if I canât actually explain what I know/do?â).
(Nugget to help: try explaining what you do out loud to yourself or the void, that helps you breakdown the process. From there, you can adjust into solid methods/workflows/processes.)
A culture of gatekeeping (âIf you suffer the way I did, youâll âearnâ itâ). Within almost every industry you will find those who feel if they had to claw their way through with nothing but trauma and rejection, everyone else must wear that wound as well.
This is not leadership. This is selfishness dressed up as credibility. Often with these individuals also comes workplace toxicity.
Hereâs the ACTUAL Truth
If sales werenât teachable, there wouldnât be billion-dollar companies built on teaching it.
Dale Carnegie, Sandler Training, Neil Rackham, Challenger Sale Framework just to name a few. Entire industries built to teach sales.
Sales is not only teachable, itâs been studied, researched, and systemized for decades. Companies spend millions each year training their salespeople because it works. Training improves win rates, deal size, and client retention.
Sales is a craft. Crafts can be practiced, refined, and taught. I believe and have seen that the best leaders in business are not the ones that hoard their knowledge. The best leaders are the ones that multiply it.
Citing some of my Nerdy Research Stuff
I knew this was a topic I wanted to research even before I decided to write about it. So, I really did some digging on this topic, if this type of stuff makes your brain tinkle with happiness as well, I hope you enjoy.
Perceptions about leadership being innate vs. developed
A study from the Center for Creative Leadership asked C-level executives whether leaders are âborn or made.â Among them, a significant fraction believed leadership is more âmade,â but a nontrivial portion still leaned toward âborn.â CCL
Gatekeeping and gender stereotypes in knowledge & leadership
Thereâs research about gatekeepers (people who control access, advancement, or knowledge) using gendered stereotypes. For example, in academia, male gatekeepers have been shown to reinforce perceptions of who âdeservesâ advancement or what âcountsâ as scientific potential. genderandset.open.ac.uk
There are also studies about role congruity: people tend to believe men fit more with stereotypical âleaderâ roles. Leadership, assertiveness, dominance are often stereotyped male traits. This ties into dismissing teaching or mentoring, possibly because those roles are viewed as âsoftâ or less âleaderlyâ (which stereotypically aligns with feminine traits). Wikipedia+2Amherst College+2
Behavior under perceived threat of status
One study from Oregon State found that when men feel their gender status is threatened in workplaces (i.e. when they feel their âstandingâ or whatâs expected of them is questioned), they are more likely than women to respond with negative behaviors like being less collaborative, lying, cheating, etc. Newsroom
The next time someone says, âYou cannot teach sales,â just smile or laugh or just stare and make them feel awkward and remember exactly what youâre hearing: a lie told by someone who never learned how to lead.
The myth that âsales canât be taughtâ survives only because it protects fragile egos and excuses selfish leadership.
Seven years into this industry, Iâve learned: sales can be taught, leadership can be shared, and knowledge will grow when multiplied.
This is the type of leader I want to become and embody, both in my personal and professional life.
I am not my past.
I am the story.
I choose to keep writing.
đ Thank you for meeting me here, friends!
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Lauren đȘ»đ
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